Happy Memorial Day

I just want to say I hope everyone has a wonderful and happy Memorial Day. I also want to stop and take a minute to remember all those that fight for our freedom, past and present. I am thankful to live in a country where I am free to chose to worship has I chose and free to do as I please. I am thankful to be married to a soldier and have a brother-in-law that both chose to fight for our freedom. I am thankful for everyone that serves in any branches of the military...but sorry I lean toward Army (I wonder why). Anyways, everyone has a safe and wonderful day!



This is a picture of warrior walk here at Fort Stewart, GA. Each redbud tree is planted in memory of a soldier from here that has lost their life frighting in Iraq since the beginning.

Waiting on the Refer

Okay so I went to the doctor today and we started talking about everything going on with me. Here is my deal: I am have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), High blood pressure and Depression. Okay so here is the Deal, PCOS is my reason for not being able to get pregnant which is the reason for the depression. So we should fix the PCOS to fix the Depression. How do we fix the PCOS? Well, weight loss will help with the hormone levels that deal with the PCOS. Weight gain is actually a sign of PCOS. Okay so why can't I just lose it. Well, because I have a problem (because of the PCOS) with my insulin intake, called Insulin resistance. This goes hand and hand with Diabetes, no I don't have diabetes yet, but I could one day if I don't get it taken care of. The reason the insulin is important is because: It is possible that this extra insulin hitches onto the receptors lining the ovary and stimulates cyst production. I have tried to take Metformin for the insulin levels but that did not help any. So what I am saying here is I can diet and work out but because of my body I will have trouble losing the weight. Okay the other problem is high blood pressure. That can easily be fixed with weight loss too. So the answer to ALL my problems is weight loss.
So the doctor said he thinks the best thing would be to put in a refer for a Gastric Bypass. I was shocked but excitied! I don't know if I will get approved because I barely fit the guidelines. You have to have a BMI of 40% but if your BMI is 34% or higher and you have a medical problem then they take that into consideration. So my BMI is 38% and he express the extreme high blood pressure. So I got to wait about a week to find out if it gets approved. I am sure they will make me get more information before I do it. It is scary because I been reading about it and there is some people I know that have had it done here and lost lots of pounds. The way I eat will have to completely change, but I am willing to do it! So please hope and pray with me that I get approve because then it won't cost me a dime to have it done and it will help me. This is going to be a very slow week waiting!

My Heart goes out!

Okay so laterly I have not updated on here and I dont know why. I just have not felt like writing, I guess you can say I been depressed or down in the dumps. I just have not been up to doing anything but laying around the house. Anyways, I decide last week that this weekend I was going to end that. So I am trying but this weekend was a hard weekend.
Last week I had a prayer in my heart for a family from my hometown of Buna, TX whose son was fighting cancer. He has been fighting it for years, then Friday he moved on from this Earthly life to a better place. While, I never actually knew Troy personally, I was good friend with his sister. Living in a small town you know everyone. He was awesome in sports and played just about all of them. His family are a strong family with a so much faith. I feel for Troy's wife, who now in her early 20s and is a widow. So young, both of them. Makes me wish I was back in Texas!
Anyways, then today is Mother's Day. Okay the day I hate going to church. Yes I said it. It is sad because it just a reminder to me that I am not a mother yet. So, to me it is just another day because I dont celebrate it.
Okay well that is all I have to say now. So I will stop whinning!

There is Sunshine in My Soul Today

I can't believe that this weekend is aready over. It was such a nice and wonderful weekend. Saturday was a beautiful day. Jeremy went to go play paintball with some of his buddies. So I stayed home with my door open. I hate not having window I can open and enjoy the fresh air. So I just open my door and have my screen door. I can't wait to move from here. Anyways, I watched Conference Saturday morning and Saturday evening on the internet. In between I got my house cleaned just about. Then for the afternoon conference i was so hungry cause I did not stop to eat yet.So I just order Pizza and then set at the table with the computer and enjoy eating and conference. It is very nice to have all the different ways to enjoy conference. This was my first time to try it. I don't have the BYU channel and I really did not want to have to get dress to go to the church. So I decide to see how bad it could be watching it online. And to my suprise I loved it. It was nice because a) I did not have to get dress b) I could eat and drink c) I loved that I could pause it if I wanted to right something down or go to the bathroom. The last reason is very nice feature about watching it online. I always started watching them live but if I had to get up to go the bathroom then I would pause it and I never caught up. Anyways, then Sunday me and Jeremy watched both conferences again online. Before and between we finished cleaning the house together and caught watching our clothes up. So yeah our house is nice and clean. Now that my house is clean I can have vistors...lol!
I just feel at alot less stress now with a clean house. Well, I have to say that my favorite talk was the first one: Robert D. Hales about Provident Living.

On other notes there is this show that came on Discovery Health and last night on TLC called "I did not know I was pregnant." It is scary to see what has happen to these people. I keep watching going man, that will be me. It is about people that had no clue they were pregnant until they went into labor. One deliever at a camp bathroom, others at work and at home. i know you ask who would not realize they were pregnant, but they had no signs or they did not realized the signs. Most of them, like me never thought they could get pregnant and have normal cycles. So missing a couple months of cycles did not matter. It makes me keep hope up and also want to go to the gym. One lady tried for 15 years and was unable but then she went on a crash diet and lost 30 pounds. That weight loss is what the Doctor that talks on the show, said that is what trigger her body to ovaluted. I though, hum, I wonder if that would work for me... Now, I just got to go to the gym! I dont like going by myself so I will have to see.
Anyways that is all I have to say for now... LATER!!!

Just the Two of Us—For Now

Okay so I have not written on here in awhile. I guess I just don't know what to say anymore. The past month has been a long month and the whole time I just wanted to crawl in bed and never get out. I been struggling with alot of stuff in my life right now, and I guess I do what my husband's Sgt says. He is always on me to (his words) "suck it up and drive on" because he says I dwell on it. I never thought about it but I guess I do. Some times it is just best to cry then try to hide it. I guess along with being depressed about not being able to have children, I have begin to get homesick. I miss Buna! (thought I would never say that, I just enjoy Buna Ward). I just cry with everything lately. I cried yesterday watching Oprah,who I don't really like. I only watched it because Micheal J. Fox was on it and I loved him in the 80s on Family Ties. I watched it because it was about him struggling for 18 years with Parkinson's Disease which is what my father-in-law has. It was a really good show and I just set on the couch weeping. Anyways!
Well, here I am in the middle of the night, 1:00 am in the morning and unable to sleep, due to my mind is racing with so much thoughts. Well, has I was blog spying I ran across a friend from Hinesville and on her blog she had all this excitement about General Conference coming up. I thought about I wished I had that came kind of excitement. I was thinking I can watched it online that way I don't have to get out and see anyone. I know wrong way of thinking!!! Anyways, from here page I ended up going to LDS.org and found myself looking for answers. While there I decide to read past issues of Ensign. Since I don't get them anymore, due to it expire during moving and just never have renew the subscription. I was going to do it then but my card was in the car and it is dark, and raining. Well anyways the point of this is I ran across this article searching. "Just the Two of Us - For Now" By Ardeth G. Kapp
Young Women General President
www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=64bc27cd3f37b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1 This arictle is really good and made me feel even better. It bought out some really good points for childless couples. I know it is kinda old but the message is still the same. I don't know why I am writing all this but I guess I just wanted to write.

Anyways, on other news, Jeremy knee is getting better he will not be needing surgery. It still hurts but it looks like he will have to do his PT test next week. So he has began working so hopefully he will be able to past it. So, tonight in between rain storms we took Zowie, our dog, for a walk/run. It was fun! I think we decide that we want to adopted from the state, but we just have some issues standing in the way. One being that as soon has he passes his PT test he should be up for resigning. We have mix feelings about if we want to PCS (permanent change of station or move). We love it here and are settled and he knows he will deployed around January of 2010. Which he wants to because those guys are his friends now. But we also have the fight if we want to move because we do want to see more of the country instead of just Georgia. So who knows what we will do. We just have to wait and see what they will offer us, I guess. I just don't want to start with the adoption process here and then in the next year we move I would feel like I was wasting my time.