Am I wrong to Be Happy?

Okay so I dont know why I am writing this... it has been on my mind for awhile now so I finally feel like writing about it. I know some of y'all will be shock with me writing this but I want you to know that making this decision makes me happy so please understand what I am saying.

Okay so this blog is about babies and children. Yes for many yall know that for years me and my husband has cried and prayed and wanted a baby so much. We have looked into adoption and all that stuff and we know all the options out there and have really thought about many of them. There was even a point where that was all that was on my mind was what my body was doing and how bad I wanted a baby that lead me to a very depression time.

Well, since Jeremy has been gone I have done a lot of thinking. And you know ...I dont know how to say this where people dont judge me..... but I am kinda glad that at this time in our lives we don't have a child. Yes I said that! Okay let me explain before you jump to conclusion. Me and my husband wants a child more then anything in the day we are able to have either natural or adoption will be such a blessing. But until that day I am going to stop obsessing over having a baby.

I think about the things me and Jeremy do that would be different if we had a little one. Me and Jeremy are I guess you can say travelers we love to travel and have lots of plans to see the world. We are always on the go. Not that we always go places that are fancy... We have been in Fort Stewart 2 years and have been to Orlando 3 times done Disney, Universal Studios, & Sea World. We have gone to Jacksonville Zoo. We have been to 3 different beaches. Done so much around the Savannah area. Gone to Hilton Head, SC. We have gone and spend 2 days in Tallahassee, TN. We have also seen alot of the forts around and just enjoy sight seeing. So I started thinking would I have been able to do all this with a child? A child changes things and one of the biggest thing it will change for us is our available to just wake up and decide to go somewhere. So me and Jeremy decide that right now in our lives we want to just enjoy life and enjoy our journeys together. I mean we are hoping that after AIT that we can get station in Germany....what a exciting place that will be. And we decide that if I got pregnant during R&R would we still want that??? So our decision right now is to stop worrying about what we need to do to get pregnant, but just enjoy life and our time together.

So since I have decide this I have been a lot more happy with myself and started working on myself. I been losing weight and learning to run and just feel alot healthier ... if only I could sleep. So don't get me wrong... I love Children and I love being around them...which is why I love being in Nursery at church. And if me and Jeremy happen to get pregnant dont get me wrong we will be so excited and will make the adjustments needed. But until that happens I am going to stop obsessing and try to sit back and enjoy my life! I must add that I am blessed to have a bunch of friends that have children and working in nursery at church and my wonderful nephew. That I can enjoy children still in my daily life!

Please no one judge me for what I said and to set it straight no I am not saying I dont EVERY want children just right now I am choosing to enjoy life and hoping one day it will happen!

No Soda and Lots of Exercising.

Okay so just decide maybe I should write a little update on here. So it has been a 9 days of my no soda and spending every night at the track. I done okay I guess. The first few days at the track was great then after that I started hitting "the wall" and now my muscles ache and I just want to give up but I know I can do it if I just stick with it. So now I have to fight though that wall. Anyone got any advice please share. I am trying to get to be able to run a mile but right now I just run parts of the track. Hopefully one day I will be able to run the whole mile but right now I try as hard as I can then after my first mile I keep walking and today I walked another 2 miles so I was out there for one hour and did 3 miles. It sounds good but a long way to catch up with my husband who can run 4 miles in 30 minutes. So hopefully I will keep the work up. I do feel better about myself and I just wished the scale numbers would move a little faster. I see them going down just not has fast has I would like!!!! Just has long as they keep going down I guess I should not complain to much...lol

Also this is also the 7th day with no Coke (I would say no soda but Sunday I did have sprite) People who know me knows that I could not get going without a big cup of coke. I always had to have a 12 oz coke just to get me going. The only reason I had a sprite Sunday was I was sick and could not keep anything down so sprite is whats helps me feel better and lucky I had some left over. But that struggle is not going that bad. Even though right now I would do anything to have a Sonic Coke Float!! I have learn to enjoy lots of water!

Anyways...well it is April now...another month closer to July when Jeremy gets to come home for a couple of weeks. I so badly can't wait. Just want July to hurry up and get here. This year when I get to turn the calendar to another month it means alot to me cause it means another month now and another month closer to him getting to come home!!!! Oh, but on another note me and Jeremy has figure out little things to do since he now has internet in his room. Some of our favorite shows are Survivor and Amazing Race. They both play over there on his cable that he has so I DVR them until he gets them. Which Amazing Race runs a week behind and Survivor comes on Friday night instead of Thursday. So when it comes on for him we voice call each other on yahoo and watches them together and talks just like when he was home. Makes us realize that even apart we can still have our "dates" night. But it is cool!

Well I guess that is all I have to say for now....anyone gots any ideals on how to run a mile feel free to let me know!