I Miss This But Not That

Okay, so here is the deal I have not been writing as much anymore cause I don't know why?! I guess I have been dealing better with Jeremy being gone and stuff so did not know what to really write. So anyways yeah I have been trying to keep myself busy as you can say. I been working in the nursery at my church and just LOVE it!!!!!! I love the smiles and giggles or these boys and girls. They are so sweet! So yeah I been doing that and also been helping my friend by volunteering up at the ACS in the AFTB program. So yeah I been doing stuff and staying out of the house. So yeah everything is going good, and Jeremy is doing good also!

So here is the point of this post:
The I Miss but Not That:

I Miss:
1) Jeremy's cooking - he can make some good meatloaf, and porkchops that I will actually eat since I am a picky eater!
2) I miss how Jeremy always filled up the car with gas I never had to worry about it..... (I know within the next year I will probably run out of gas somewhere cause I never think about checking and seeing)
3) I miss having my live TV guide...Jeremy can name off all the shows we watch together and what time they come on and on what days and what channels. I used to never miss a show! But now I forget and every night looking it up to see what comes on! LOL!
4) I love that I had some one to take care of the yard and dog. I am not very good at those things. I don't do yard work very good and I have never been a dog person! LOL!
5) I miss having Jeremy to listen about my day and make me stop stressing and getting depressed and could always make me smile and relax.
6)I miss having some one in bed to talk to me and lay with me!
7) I miss having some one to go eat out with and go to the movies with. I got a list of movies coming out I want to see but don't want to go along...like Dear John and definitely Eclipse I got to find some friends that will go with me for that one!!!! Hint Hint Anyone??!?!?!
8) I miss having my partner to go shopping with. Yes my husband loves to shop so it was normal for us some Saturdays just to go to Savannah just to walk around the malls have lunch normally in the food court and just browse though never buying anything just a day of relaxing out of the house and having fun!
9) I miss site seeing with my partner! Yes we go to the Old historical places around here, zoos or just any thing free or cheap and site see the area. our it might just be hoping in our car and driving down some back road giving us time to talk and see good ole' Georgia!
10) I JUST MISS HIM!!!! Enough said!

Anyways, with that being said here are some things I DON'T miss!

1) I don't miss having to be force into watching Wrestling, or some sport game! LOL!
2) I don't miss being kicked out of a queen size bed cause my husband and 8.5 lbs dog takes up the whole bed
3) I don't miss having to clean up your dishes after you get in the kitchen and got bored so creative something strange to eat! LOL! yes my husband goes in the kitchen and throws this and this and this in a pot then adds some noddles and be like ..."now that looks yummy"
4) I don't miss tripping over your boats, finding your ACUs all over the house and anything else army related in every room of our house.
5) I don't miss having to find the hiding dishes that you leave on the floor in the living room that gets push under and behind things
6) I don't miss being suck without a car. I always hated being along on the house with no transportation.
7) I don't miss the text every day I got at 11 am asking me what I was doing and when I answer with a "Nothing just sitting on Facebook" you would always get upset and wished I would get off facebook. Now, you don't know how long I spend on here....hahaha!
8) I don't miss Jeremy using my towel. It would drive me nuts but I never told him.... that if I hung a towel out for me to use when I got out of the shower somehow Jeremy would end of using it before me! lol!
9) Um.... I am running how of things to put. so last one.... I don't miss Jeremy's driving! Sorry I hate his driving! He is a good driver don't get me wrong I just hate to sit in the passenger seat. I like or should I say love to drive. So now no fighting over who is driving!

So there you go my fun list of the things I miss and the things I Don't miss! With every positive there is a negative!!!

One Month Later....

Yeah you heard me it has been over a month since Jeremy left. Yeah 35 days since he left. The first couple of weeks were so slow and depressing but things are picking up now and getting a lot better. Yeah they say the first month is the hardest so I guess since I made it though that period then I am going to survive. Yeah I am doing good I still have my days or better my moments but things get better and things get easily. So what have I been doing?
Well physically the problems I have are getting a lot better so that is a good thing. I have had a lot more energy and felt better period. Ready to do more things. Which I still have not worked on MY house at all. I got so much more I need to do. I did go help my friend worked on her house but now I really must work on my house! I just really really don't want to do it does anyone want to volunteer. PLEASE?!?!?! Anyways yeah I have not gotten anything done. I have not started really losing weight or anything in that way. I did start but then stopped I am not sure why. But start Saturday I got to start walking because I am taking part in a "walk to iraq" So I have to walk 100 miles from then to April....So can I do it??? We will see!

Anyways, um, oh Jeremy is doing good, everything is going good. So yeah things are ok!

I just want to give up!

Okay I was debating writing this but you know when something is really bothering you all you want to do is write it, well that is me. But I hate writing and love typing so I am going to write this and if it is TMI (too much information) then you can just stop reading it. Okay, deal?

So, I went back to the Doctor (GYN) today for a follow up about the issue I been having for the last six month but epically the last month and half. Well, for me all I did the whole appointment is cry my eyes out, yes you heard me is cry. I sat there in the room and then in his office crying my eyes out that I just don't know what to do anymore. I even told the doctor that I just want to give up and have a Hysterectomy done cause I am tried of everything. He told me he know I did not mean that and am just having trouble with an hormonal imbalance which he says is why I am and been so emotional and crying so much about this. That is when I found out that this crying might be because of the Birth Control because he told me he has me on the highest dose of Birth control in a pill there is. Wow!
So anyways, he think there is a chance for something seriously so wants me to do a Econometrics Biopsy. He said he just wants to check for cancer or anything else. So he decide with the emotions I was already having it might be best to reschedule the appointment and try the biopsy at another time and when i have someone available to drive me home just incase i have any pain and also i could take something before the biopsy to help with the pain. So there is one ideal! So I go on the 20th (I think) to have this done. So if it comes up yes it might be something serious but at least I would know what the problem is. But if it comes up negative, good nothing serious, but we are right back at step one.
But hopefully maybe my period will go back to normal on its on and all this will end. But if not then you wants me to try strong birth control method other then the pill. This is what got me really upset. I always said I NEVER wanted to take any birth control. Don't know why just always said that. But now I feel like I being force to TAKE birth control even when I WANT to get pregnant. I just don't know anymore. The pill was okay I take it get my hormoes somewhat normal again and then go off when Jeremy comes home, but not if I try these other things some kind of Nuveau Ring (don't know if I spelled it right) or a IUD. I don't want them and I think he could tell I did not want them and keep telling me that would be the best thing or if not that. It is going on to other stuff that will make it unable to have a baby.

So yeah I very emotional day for me. I don't know what to do anymore. I am hoping that everything will work out and I will have the Biopsy and everything will be negative and that maybe with weight loss maybe my body will start being normal. LOL!

Anyways sorry I feel better now! Sorry might have been too much information but I had to get it off my chest!

Don't Go the Bed Early

Okay, so I learn not to go to bed early again.
Last night about 5pm I got a headache that was so bad all I could do is sleep. So you got it after about 2 hours of fighting it I gave in and went to sleep. So that must be nice at 7pm hitting the sack and I was OUT the minute my head hit the pillow.
But I can't do that again why, you wonder. Well, it is 4:30 am in the morning and I have been up since about 3am.. UGH! Now I want to go to sleep cause I know it will be a long day and no time for a nap. I can't do this again!
I just want to go to sleep now!
Good note is that I don't have a headache anymore! lol!

Oh, well another 3 more hours I should hit the gym!

Ready for 2010!

So wow, it is 2010! Hard to believe but I at least hope this year flies by. So this year I have lots of plans and hope to keep busy so this year does flies by. associated this 2010 with dealing with a deployment. Our very FIRST deployment. So I never really made goals for the deployment cause I am going to call them my deployment/2010 goals.
So I decide to make a list of my 2010 plans: So here it goes:

1) SURVIVE THIS DEPLOYMENT SANE!!!!!! LOL! sorry I had to put it on there.

2) Take care of myself. I am hoping to get in shape and do a lot of walking and running! Me and Jeremy have a goal together when he comes back run a 5K together. So I got to start going to the gym more often.

3) Along with number #2 is to lose weight. I am hoping to start losing weight so maybe that will help me be able to get pregnant. I hope to lose about 70lbs till year if not more. That sounds like alot but divide up it is only like 6lbs a month. So hopefully I will lose more it would be awesome to lose 100lbs.

4) Also hopefully soon I can get my medically issues I am having taken care of. I hope that the appointment I have this Friday the Doctor will agree to do the surgury that will end this for now.

5) Learning to say "NO". I am learning to say no to people I don't need to be there for everyone I have to think about myself also. I love to help others but yeah I need help at times too! So I also need to learn how to ask for help myself. I get a little too independent and forget that I can't do everything alone.

6) Clean my house, organized my house, and have a yard sale to get all the junk out of here! Yes I want to get my help super clean.

7) Also, I hope to do some crafts project. I hope to be able to spend more time scrapbooking and making trying other crafts.

8) I also plan on taking a lot of college classes in this year. Hopefully to get enough done to be at least half way there. Hopefully I can do a lot of classes!

9) I plan to make a trip home to Texas alone. No, not to stay the whole year but to go down to visit. I hope to spend some time with my family. I hope to be able to get to know my little nephew, Parker again. Also, during this time I hope to spend some time with my Sister Andrea so maybe we can act like sister again. Which is a main reason for me to go!

10) Last plan is to plan a nice and cheap trip when he gets to come home for R& R. He is hoping for August so we can say it is an Anniversary too! Which would be our 8th year! WOW! Anyways, I think I am planning for us just to go to Atlanta, GA. We been wanting to go up there to go to the Georgia Aquarium and the Zoo. We have also talked about going to the Coke-Cola factory. So that sounds like a cool ideal to do. I am crossing my fingers and hoping to add a suprise for Jeremy, that would be if the Braves have a game that night! He would love that!

Well anyways, there are some of my goals I am sure I have more but just can't think tonight. I started my new year's off with a headache all day today that I can't get rid of.