I never thought I would Say this

So, for many of yall that know me or have been following my blog since the beginning know the real reason I begun to write on here. That reason was my way to deal with infertility and having was having so much stress and depression for feeling like I would never be able to have a child. Back then I was seeking a Infertility Doctor and was doing the whole tracking everything and on clomid and was really trying but not successful at all. Then Jeremy deployed and I had time to think and get myself together.

Then when we found out that we was going to go to Germany I been to do my research where I learned that it would be cheaper to do an IVF here. I am not up to the point of waiting to really do a IVF but we plan on focusing on starting over at step 1 and see if we will have any luck with a new doctor. That is what what on my mind and my first dr appointment here the first thing I mention that I wanted to get to a Reproduction Specialize. Well, that never happen and I am not making that appointment to bring that subject up, WHY? you ask

Well, since Jeremy has been having so many health problems and now he can't drive or for that matter do anything I don't think I should run off and TRY to get pregnant. It would just make things more stressful right now I feel. The other day the Dr ask if we have kids and Jeremy responded "No, thankfully" That is when it hit me, for years we have been praying and begging to have a child, but right now I am glad that the Lord knew what he was doing. He had a plan in all of this. I mean right now with Jeremy's seizures I sometimes have a lot of troubles watching it and I really could not think about what that would do to a child.

So I never thought I would say that I am thankful that the Lord knew what he was doing and right now we don't have a child. This being sad I am learning to live with that, but this does not mean I don't every want a child. Right now we are focusing on Jeremy and getting him better. Then we will go back to trying when the time is right. Also if we ended up having to get out and end up back in Southeast Texas we want to go and adopted children out of the foster care!

Well, I think I can finally say "Yes I have no children" and smile and not want to run off crying!