Bad Newws

Bad news at the DRs Current mood: sad Okay so I have not up date laterly cause I did not have anything to say, but now I am ready. Okay so I had another DR appointment this past Monday. I was so hoping that it would bring good news that the 150mg of Clomid worked and then we could move forward. But nope good news. I still did not ovulate yet. So if we move forward it will be with the shots. Well, then he looked at the results of Jeremy's SA and that was not good news. It was really bad. So he said it is not important that i ovalute right now if his Sperm Analysis is bad. So now we have to schuldule another appointment for him to do another test. If the test turns out good then I will have to go do an out patience surgury to check my tubes and stuff. And this is the kicker. If his next test is bad again he said the only hope for us to get pregnant is by a IVF. Which IVF is a proceder that is not pay for by Tricare (our insurance) and you are looking at around $20,000 for one cycle and no guantuee that it will work. So it took all I had not to start crying. So yeah I have been a little down. I just feel like it will never happen. Cause we will never have the money for a IVF or to even adopte. I know what every one is thinking you can just adopte. I have looked into that option but it cost lots of money and then you are just on a list for years. I just dont understand some days. We have so much love for children and have been wanting to share our love for years. I grew up always saying I wanted lots of kids ( I always wanted 6), which I still do but right now I just want one. So now I guess I should stop thinking about when I have a kid cause right now it wont happen and we are getting old. It is just so sad. I wish i could meet someone that needs someone to help them with their child or a teen that is giving it up so I could do a private adoption. I just want to open my home to others children. I know there are million of children out there needing someone to love, and I want to be there. I am thinking about being a foster parent but I dont know if since Jeremy is in the Army we can do it or since we live on post if we could still do it. I dont know. I hope so cause there are lots of kids that just needs some loves and it will be sad if they dont let me help those children out. Sorry for going and on, I am just sad and I want a child. Okay well some good news is I am going to have a nephew! I am so excitied for my Adam and Kim and so happy for them, I just wish I live closer so I could spoiled it more. LOL! Anyways just wanted to say how happy I am for them!