Okay so I dont know why I am writing this... it has been on my mind for awhile now so I finally feel like writing about it. I know some of y'all will be shock with me writing this but I want you to know that making this decision makes me happy so please understand what I am saying.
Okay so this blog is about babies and children. Yes for many yall know that for years me and my husband has cried and prayed and wanted a baby so much. We have looked into adoption and all that stuff and we know all the options out there and have really thought about many of them. There was even a point where that was all that was on my mind was what my body was doing and how bad I wanted a baby that lead me to a very depression time.
Well, since Jeremy has been gone I have done a lot of thinking. And you know ...I dont know how to say this where people dont judge me..... but I am kinda glad that at this time in our lives we don't have a child. Yes I said that! Okay let me explain before you jump to conclusion. Me and my husband wants a child more then anything in the day we are able to have either natural or adoption will be such a blessing. But until that day I am going to stop obsessing over having a baby.
I think about the things me and Jeremy do that would be different if we had a little one. Me and Jeremy are I guess you can say travelers we love to travel and have lots of plans to see the world. We are always on the go. Not that we always go places that are fancy... We have been in Fort Stewart 2 years and have been to Orlando 3 times done Disney, Universal Studios, & Sea World. We have gone to Jacksonville Zoo. We have been to 3 different beaches. Done so much around the Savannah area. Gone to Hilton Head, SC. We have gone and spend 2 days in Tallahassee, TN. We have also seen alot of the forts around and just enjoy sight seeing. So I started thinking would I have been able to do all this with a child? A child changes things and one of the biggest thing it will change for us is our available to just wake up and decide to go somewhere. So me and Jeremy decide that right now in our lives we want to just enjoy life and enjoy our journeys together. I mean we are hoping that after AIT that we can get station in Germany....what a exciting place that will be. And we decide that if I got pregnant during R&R would we still want that??? So our decision right now is to stop worrying about what we need to do to get pregnant, but just enjoy life and our time together.
So since I have decide this I have been a lot more happy with myself and started working on myself. I been losing weight and learning to run and just feel alot healthier ... if only I could sleep. So don't get me wrong... I love Children and I love being around them...which is why I love being in Nursery at church. And if me and Jeremy happen to get pregnant dont get me wrong we will be so excited and will make the adjustments needed. But until that happens I am going to stop obsessing and try to sit back and enjoy my life! I must add that I am blessed to have a bunch of friends that have children and working in nursery at church and my wonderful nephew. That I can enjoy children still in my daily life!
Please no one judge me for what I said and to set it straight no I am not saying I dont EVERY want children just right now I am choosing to enjoy life and hoping one day it will happen!
5 comments:
I think what you wrote is a great thing, and I am happy that you are able to enjoy life now. I think Germany sounds so fun, I hope you guys get to go, and I know you will make the most of it.
I don't think anyone has a right to judge what you said in your post. It is up to you and Jeremy what you guys decide to do. It isn't up for discussion with the rest of the world.
Parker was a "crap I never got my prescription refilled", would I change a day with him no, but things would be different with us if Parker wasn't here.
My sister used to complain when I would ask her to come visit me and I didn't understand why she didn't want to with three kids and the effort she said it took until now. I hate being home every day. There are days when I don't mind it, but there are days when I need to get out of the house, but here in the summer by the time I get Parker loaded up, I need another shower it's so hot outside. It takes time and effort to pack a bag for a little one even if it is just a few hours. Do you have diapers, wipes, snacks, drinks??
I didn't realize how much life would change until Parker came around. He has truly been a blessing in our lives and I don't regret forgetting to call in that refill at all.
No judging here. Look at what I had to do- decide to have a hysterectomy or keep living in pain that was getting worse. I'm so glad you are happy with your decision. Happiness Rocks! I feel just like you. We're just going to let the cards fall where they may- who knows, we may even decide not to adopt- it's why my application is still sitting on the table :) It's so much easier when you both are on the same page. Enjoy your time together!!
I think that finally coming to a place where you are content w/ your life and yourself is a wonderful place to be. Kids are awesome when it is the right time. When it is the right time, everything will happen.... IN TIME. Just enjoy the life you have at this moment. I also agree w/ Kimberly, no one has a right to judge you on any decision that you make about your life.
You are are totally right. You are happy with what you have and doing your best with what life has given you. No one should fault that. Love You DAD
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